Can't bear to cry anymore...

Days go up and down I feel, today I woke up to a gray day with rain (although it is needed) but my insides were also gray today I feel.

I only have one wish and that is a functioning everyday life, what for some people is a question mark and completely without empathy sits with their own opinions without even wanting to open their ear canal and listen to another individual.

Having the ability to listen to another person's suffering/feeling seems unique and occurs less often than often I think. Is it the pressure of society that annihilates that quality in man? Is it the power of some that destroys and squeezes out the last empathetic drop from the body?

People who really empathize and listen and can even shed tears in front of another person's story, I have enormous respect for, these are people who really dare to offer themselves and their vulnerability, sensitivity and nakedly show their empathy. Empathy is important to me, and it doesn't mean that you're looking for bullshit, not at all...but it shows humanity and that you see other people. Nor are tears needed to prove this...you can tell if a person cares and listens with their heart, you can't lie about that.

Today I am awaiting word on whether Freja needs a check-up in Gothenburg for her eye, is this what triggers my concern? Yes, maybe of course, but my life situation right now, where I am, awaits many decisions and certain decision makers sit and oppose me who really eat me up and fill my chest with black goo that manifests itself in nausea and body aches.

I am a lioness, ready to intervene at any time for my children to the point that my body gives up. Writing helps me to get out the dung that sits like leeches on my body, a way to scream to vent. How many mothers aren't sitting out there fighting for their children? How many mothers struggle to keep the family together? How many mothers struggle to hold back their tears so as not to upset the family? How many mothers struggle with everyday life with work, taking care of house, home and family and at the same time avoiding collapsing from all the musts, uncertainty, keeping love flourishing and planning for the future? If a mother falls, what happens? Avoiding feminist claims of equal responsibility...I am fully aware of what that means, but now I speak purely instinctively from a mother's feeling, from a lioness's point of view.

Well, we'll see how the day unfolds...trying from one thing to another to get the English translation working on the blog but yeah I don't understand how to do it hahah, yeah I have to turn to someone who can...that's how life works ...can't you just ask someone who knows!

Love and respect

Petra