Evening musings in silence

Quiet in the house, my brain speeds up and analyzes the day that has been...disappointment has reached new levels regarding work, my feeling is not good and I intend to follow it, it has guided me to where I am today...I will never change shape, never intend to lower myself to levels that are unreasonable, I allow myself and others to play with me...I see through false facades and lies...I am happy to be me but also sometimes tired of being just me because one sees through the spectacle that circulates around one.

People who know me well know who I am and my why, I don't need to be questioned.

When I look into a face and often see a face behind the mask, i.e. the outer face....

We all wear these masks for different reasons, what I have a hard time with is when you take it to levels that become a spectacle...why please not just be honest and yourself, admit to yourself your faults and flaws, limitations etc ...I can't stand these who I call the face of lies.

Often you meet these horrors among higher-ranking people, then I don't give a shit if the person is a forest-dwelling troll or the king himself, but please be yourself I respect you for the truth you carry with you not for your lie you live by.

Through my years, I have seen so many faces and heard so much rappakalja that you become afraid of the dark.

I can say with my hand on my heart that I almost never had to play strange roles to be accepted for who I am. If I play a fake role what happens when it crashes? Who am I then? You will never be liked by everyone, I really don't like that because if I had to live up to what everyone wants from me, I would really go crazy. I live by my beliefs and convictions, I stand firm for what I believe in...I can judge things and people too quickly but I'm also good at admitting when I'm wrong and can correct myself.

My belief is what makes me live and survive and no one can take it away from me...

What tires me out (exhausted) is the brain, it's simply thoughts, analyses, musings, like sitting and writing a book and you end up so tired in the hood that you don't know what, the body then goes on autopilot because the brain is in high gear and not cooperating with anything at all, hahah

Some people get so exhausted that they can't take on anything at all, stop getting out of bed, make themselves pretty, etc...in my case, the brain needs something else to think about, something good, a new energy and nourishment, refueling energy for then the body picks up again and grasps the gallop, the brain is magical and it controls everything, the drive is actually in our skull and stomach!

I can say that if I had NOT eaten all the supplements I eat, I would have been in a completely different situation and I have been in that before I moved to Norrland and the doctors told me that exhaustion takes years of recovery! Stupidity, that kind of thing is highly individual and depends entirely on what power you possess, I myself recovered very quickly after the move/change of environment and with the help of supplements to kick start the intestines and energy for the brain.

At the time of writing, I can feel my eyelids telling me it's time to go to bed, but it's so nice when it's quiet and everyone's asleep, I enjoy this silence and stillness....except for the snoring from my roommate upstairs that makes my skeleton vibrate.

Be well out there folks and follow your truth and inner voice, it will get you far, yes and empathy and humility of course. :)