MRI of Freja's back and an emergency visit for my eyes

Then it was time for an MRI on Freja's head and back. We had to get up early, would be in the children's ward at 7:45 and be wheeled down to the x-ray at 8:30. Freja was given the nasal spray that would make her tired so it would be easier to put her to sleep before the MRI. She had to lie down and watch a movie with my mobile phone for a while and told us that she wasn't really tired, but soon she fell asleep. We took her down to the x-ray and left her there while they put the anesthesia mask on her face.

Then I took the opportunity to go to the emergency room and Jonas went for coffee.

What happened to me is that for a couple of days or a week I suddenly started to see worse, noticed at work that I saw people and surroundings very poorly and got annoyed that I might have to change my glasses again because it wasn't long at all since I did this.

The sight got worse and worse and the night before Freja's x-ray when I was working evenings and was going to drive home, it was really hard. Had to drive slowly, couldn't see road signs or if there was anything to watch out for in the ditch. I wondered if it was equally bad in both eyes, so I held each eye and discovered to my horror that when I looked with the right eye, everything became much darker, a big spot in my field of vision. I was scared, am I going to go blind? What is this because my vision deteriorated rapidly in a short time and now this blur and darkness.

Early in the morning when we went in with Freja, I called 1177 and told about my vision, hence I was sent to the emergency room.

At the emergency room, I was sent on to the eye department for a check-up. They found a swelling in my eye which later turned out to be something called central serous chorioretinopathy, which means fluid has collected inside the retina at the macula.

Heals by itself usually in 6 months, return visit in 6 weeks if it hasn't improved, you can try treating with laser or injection...questions about that? Well, I didn't have that either, because I had Freja lying asleep in my thoughts.

Afterwards the questions came, I had to sign 1177... but what 6 weeks, I see sick, like crying and having patient eyes and seeing through liquid or when you've had too many glasses of wine...oh then this darkness in one eye ...

My everyday life....my job? What the hell am I doing? I need my eyes!

This most likely comes from stress unless there is a hidden autoimmune disease hiding in my body...but I have stress, internal stress...my stress is not visible on the outside but on the inside I bleed, I sort out my emotions and tucking them away when I don't have time with them to check myself.

So to Freja, when I was done with my eyes I received a message from Jonas that Freja had woken up and was back in the children's ward.

She was completely exhausted and was only awake for a couple of minutes when I entered the room, then she closed her eyes again and slept until lunch.

We left when she woke up properly and spat a couple of times from the anesthesia and ate at a Chinese restaurant, which was her wish. Good girl, now we have to wait to see what they find and she has duraectasis.

Back to my eyes, well at the time of writing it is far from easy to sit here and write, I have to angle the screen and sit really close. My glasses help a little at close range (within an arm's length) then they are useless because everything is crooked and strange when I look, a little affected by distance judgment as well because I knock things over or push away when I have to take something every now and then.

The next day I cried for 6 hours, this is like a blow below the belt...I need my eyes...I need work, my everyday...complete panic and so sick sad and was met with thoughts that how the hell am I going to cope with more setbacks... yes, I'm not dying, I have to be grateful for that, but you're already worn out due to a herniated disc and sciatica, which causes my whole right leg to pull tendons and cramp from the end down to the toes all the time, so it's not possible to sleep and sleep we need.

I'm really so damn sad, so low, feeling hopeless and empty really...yes, I need my eyes to work which generates money in these disgusting times with those in power who rape us on everything that belongs to life like food, fuel electricity and everything else...I don't want to be home but what do I do???

Waiting for the doctor's answer, I need help and now, how should I handle this? Heard many who have had this for months and just the thought makes my panic and this stress explode...

My energy is now not enough and right now I just want to give up and go to bed and cry for a thousand years, not because it helps but it's a nice feeling.

In any case, I got out and went to the field today in minus 13 degrees and sun after being awake since 02.30 due to insane pain in the leg from sciatica and no position works at all, right now I feel a little better, will try to get out often and go away this shit!

If anyone has had this problem with their eyes and got rid of it quickly or helped in some other way, write to me! Help me, my eyes are important and I need them.

Love and respect

Petra